If you’re generally an impatient person, dating an insecure person can often be very difficult. Insecure people can be extremely complex, and you may have trouble understanding where they’re coming from, or why they’re insecure in the first place. It’s important to be aware that insecure people don’t become insecure overnight. Usually, many years of abuse or humiliation causes a person to become insecure about how they look, or what type of person they are. Since it often takes years to make a person insecure, it can very well take years for them to become confident. If you really like an insecure person, and don’t want to risk losing them while waiting for them to overcome their insecurity, there are a few different things you can do to help you with successfully dating an insecure person.
Always Be Supportive
Insecure people need a great support system. This means that if you want to date someone who is insecure, it is important to be a supportive person. Insecure cannot handle people who are constantly hard on them. Even if you have their best interest in mind, you will often end up doing more harm than good. There are several different ways that you can be supportive for an insecure person. Each of these ways requires that you learn how to be both patient and understanding for the person that you are dating.
When an insecure person is struggling with their insecurity, don’t tell them that they have nothing to worry about, or that they’re overreacting. Instead, be gentle with them, and explain to them that it’s OK if they’re feeling insecure. Ask them if there is anything you can do to help them feel more comfortable, and take their responses seriously. Anxiety and insecurity is a recipe for disaster.
Don’t Put Pressure On Them
Another thing you want to avoid is putting pressure on an insecure person. If they are feeling uncomfortable or nervous about a situation and want to escape, do not try to guilt trip them into staying. It will only cause them to feel like they are a failure, and are hurting you. What you can do is try to gently reassure them. If the two of you are out on a date, and they start to get self conscious of their appearance, do something that helps to calm them down. Put your arm around their shoulder, or press a couple of kisses against their cheek. Try to coax them into giving them some more time to get comfortable. If after about ten minutes, they’re still desperate to leave, agree to go someplace else where they’ll be more comfortable.
You also definitely want to avoid putting pressure on them when it comes to sex. If they’re willing to have sex with you, but require that the lights be off, or they they aren’t completely naked, don’t try to argue for something else. However, you can offer alternatives to what they want. If they want to have sex with the lights off, and you want to do it with the lights on, suggest that you plug in a night-light, or that you use a lamp with a dim light. Just because someone is insecure doesn’t mean they won’t be willing to compromise.
Have an Endless Supply of Compliments
Compliments are arsenal when it comes to dating an insecure person. They need a lot of them, and they need them often. Understand that when an insecure person needs complimenting, it’s not because they’re conceded or narcissistic. It’s simply because they aren’t used to people giving them compliments, so each time they hear one, it helps to encourage them. Compliment them on everything, even things that they aren’t insecure about. Compliment them genuinely and often. If you do it enough, eventually they will not only start to believe you, they will share you opinion.
Dating an insecure person isn’t impossible, and if you’re patient, it’s not really difficult. While it is true that it takes a special type of person to date an insecure person, the feeling you will get when you help your partner overcome their insecurity is fantastic. They’ll become a more confident person, and they’ll definitely want to reward you for believing in them.